Knowing when to give it up and say "when" is an incredibly tough thing for me. I enjoy utilizing myself to the utmost. It's fun to learn new things and explore in a career that can be so impactful on our youth. I wouldn't put my blood sweat and tears into a job that I felt little passion for. But, it's times like these when I feel a strong pull back to my family from my job. This weekend will be tough. I am going to Washington DC Friday to learn and collaborate with some of the best math educators in the nation. I am terribly excited for my position and terribly overwhelmed with leaving my family behind for five days. Ugh... As a mother, you simply can't get those worst case scenarios out of your mind even though there really isn't grounds for it. "What if Adelyn runs out of milk or (gasp) starts to crawl while I'm away?" "Annaka is going to miss me and won't get her goodnight hug from me!" "What if my husband goes crazy and feeds the dog the milk, lets Annaka out the door to pee and Adelyn feeds herself by crawling to the dog bowl!?!?" (note: My husband is uber capable and fantastic... I simply know the insanity that can come with a toddler and infant all to yourself. Truth is it kinda takes two of us to make things smooth around this joint!) Even typing this gets my heart rate up. However, this will come and go. I will most likely have a fantastic conference, see our nation's capital and Annaka and Adelyn will get the best Daddy time they have ever had. But... Still... Moms, you understand my heartache. It's a test. We'll all survive and when I get home it will be awesome.

It is interesting to see how having kids can change so much about a person. One's perspective can be turned around or focused much like the view through a camera. Today, I found 1 Thessalonians 2:7.

"But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. ⁸ So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us."

Paul speaks to the church in Thessalonica so passionately. I have read this verse before. "yea, yea, yea, everyone love their kids." Now, it seems to resonate. Maybe, I kinda get it now. For a person to feel such joy and longing for some group of people who are connected only by Jesus Christ gives me chills. Maybe, I'm getting an idea of what Paul meant.

I never knew that I had an internal "it has been too quiet timer". This morning, way too early on a Sunday, I know that Annaka is awake. I can also tell Annaka is doing something she is not supposed to be. It is my wake up call. It is not the gentle beep beep beep of an ever intensifying alarm. It is the bed cover ripping, splash of awareness that pulls you instantly from that warm cocoon. After the whiplash and the aftermath of discipline I piece together the events like any good CSI. Annaka had gotten into one of my iridescent paints. In the end she had paint on a chair, the floor, her chest, her leg, and hands. She did also get some paint on her paper. In her painting preparation, as any good artist, she primed the palette with her colors. Granted it was a single color but half of the ten circles were primed with the paint ready for the creation of a master piece... or more mess. As it was, this meticulous preparation was her downfall. Getting the paint from the bottle to the palette resulted in paint all over her paint brush. Her paint brush then dribbled paint down the front of her chest. A dropped paint brush resulted in plenty of paint for the floor. Finally, rubbing a drip off her skin resulted in something on her hand that when rubbed together with her other hand spread the sparkle of the paint all over her palms. Sparkles everywhere. That meant sparkles for me and a groggy cleanup.

I had my second "it has been too quiet" moment of the day a few minutes ago. I was lounging on the couch when I heard the oh-so-quiet crinkle of a package. I figure I either have mice enjoying a meal or Annaka is getting into something in the pantry. I am instantly pulled from the couch, through the kitchen and utility room, to the pantry. What I see is Annaka rock climbing up to the top shelf of our pantry shelves. She has her back to me, thank God. If she had seen me she would have seen me stifle a smile and barely keep from laughing. Annaka had climbed up the selves one by one all the way to the very top. At the peak she dug through a box and tossed her treat to the ground. This is eye level for me. I watched as she slowly descended to the floor. At this point she finally notices me and nonchalantly picks up her snack. Being about bedtime I replaced sugar with a cucumber and a smile. Note to self.. this girl can climb!

The girls are asleep. This means it is time to ice the leg and get some sleep.

Pictures of the girls.

This last weekend the only thing I really accomplished besides cleaning the kitchen was taking these pictures. I had both of the girls for the weekend while Naomi was working on her Pro Certification. Enjoy!